Biblical Womanhood

Fear

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 23, 2010 | No Comments

“Hell dances when God’s people are afraid.”

This one liner struck me a hard blow this morning as I sat here reading Molly Piper’s blog. I imagined little demons dancing amidst fire and sulfur smoke as I huddle in a corner wrestling with my fear for the future. To me, it is a graphic description and it is all I needed to examine myself… Why do I fear? What do I fear?

I’m not one who likes to copy and paste other people’s articles so this will be a first for me and I hope and pray that I won’t lose the very few people who come here to read because of this… Trust me, I don’t think I would never be able to put it all together the way this blogger did and she hit right through me so again, trust me, I believe it’s still worth it.

Many of you were probably a little bit surprised by the news of our third child’s arrival. I am too.

There are a few reasons I haven’t blogged about it.

1. Fear.

Women who have experienced the death of a child often deal with irrational thoughts. I’ve dealt with so many since Felicity’s death. Many of them have been those “if only” thoughts:

If only I had gone into the hospital the night I was having some painful contractions, maybe they just would have let me stay and I’d have her right now.

Others have been more like:

My baby died inside of me. My womb is a place of death.

So much of me has struggled to believe that the birth of a healthy, living child could ever happen for us again.

Maybe God will never do this for me. I’m going to live with the agony of another stillbirth so that he can keep making an example out of me and my suffering.

To read the whole blog article, please jump to Molly Piper’s website right here.

Category: Faith

The Blind Side

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 23, 2010 | No Comments

We stayed up quite late last night to watch “The Blind Side“. I’m not good with doing review articles nor ever liked writing them but for this movie, I will try.

The movie is a true story based on the life of 2009 NFL Draft Pick Michael Jerome Oher who was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens on the first round. THAT’S how good this guy is in football. In college, he played for Ole Miss Rebels of the University of Mississippi and the movie is all about his journey from the streets of the “other side” to the better side of town in Memphis.

Big Mike as he was called by most people grew up in a very dysfunctional home. His mother is addicted to crack and he has a dozen or more siblings, most of whom were taken away from his mother when they were small. Oher, for a long time, was a ward of the state himself until Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy stepped in just a few short months before his 18th birthday. I really don’t want to spoil it for anyone by writing how Big Mike, or Michael, met the Tuohy’s but that freezing November night that Leigh Anne stepped out of the family car to ask Michael why is he going to the gym is probably the pivotal point of the story, if not one of them. Another critical point, to me at least, would be the football coach’s intervention when the Wingate Christian School’s admissions board refused to admit Michael.

Anyway, so to cut the long story short, the Tuohy’s were awarded legal guardianship for Michael Oher and did everything they can to provide not only family, home, shelter, clothing, education and his very own bed for him but they also hired the best tutor to make sure that Michael would meet top university standards, they were pretty much eyeing a scholarship for the new member of the family. Michael did not disappoint and after receiving a string of phone calls, home visits and offers from top colleges such as University of Alabama, University of Tennessee, University of Mississippi and Louisiana State University, Michael chose Mississippi.

His university of choice also compelled the NCAA to investigate on the Tuohy’s “and voiced the suspicion that the Tuohys had become Michael’s guardians and put him into their wills as an equal of their own children only so that he might play left tackle for their alma mater.” Well, as you will all know later, Michael played for Ole Miss anyway.

Now, here are my thoughts on The Blind Side…

As a Christian, I would say that it is not a Christian movie, the centrality of the whole film is on Michael Oher’s life and while the Tuohy’s are Christians and while Wingate is a Christian school, the movie has no other theological value other than that the Tuohy’s adopted Michael regardless of who he is. They loved him, they supported him, he is family to them. That’s all there is to it. So if you are a Christian looking for a movie with more theological points, you won’t find much on this one.

I also have a little problem with Sean Tuohy’s character, it seems that his role was basically to just be taken along for the ride while his wife Leigh Anne made the major decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with a woman making major decisions but leading the family in the saying of grace while your husband sat at the head of the table is somewhat an uncomfortable thought for me… Pretty much screams who leads the family, doesn’t it? It was a heartwarming scene, that thanksgiving meal they shared with Michael for the very first time, but that odd tidbit with Leigh Anne leading the prayer left a bad impression to me. Other than these, I have no other criticisms.

I love Leigh Anne, I mean I like the soft character beneath the strong veneer. In fact, oftentimes I could relate to her character, that scene where she told the man to zip it or she’ll go up to where he was to zip his mouth for him really cracked me up because I saw me a million times in that scene! I also admire her courage when she dared to go to the “other side of town” to look for Michael when he went missing after he found out why the NCAA was investigating. And then that phone call from Michael where he called her “Mama” really got to me, too.

Not too many people really understand football, but The Blind Side makes it all easy enough to chew on. Love it! Really love it… Two thumbs up for this one.

Here’s the movie trailer for those of you who wants a sneak peek:

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Category: Adoption

Distractions

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 20, 2010 | No Comments

I’m one of those people who can’t last a day without going online. I have three (or four, or maybe even five including my private ones) blogs, I have bloggy friends whom I love to read, I am on Facebook, I play Farmville there, too and then there’s Twitter and a host of other online activities. Then I read an article somewhere (I tried to find the link but failed, sorry) how distracting these activities can be and how they rob us of quality time for other more important things… Such as doing personal devotions, or doing our daily bible reading, or listening to sermons, or just being still for a few minutes to meditate.

I did not log my online hours yesterday but I purposely tried my best to lessen them by (a bit painfully) peeling myself away from my desk and drumming into my head that I have nothing important to do online anyway. To be conservative about it, I think I managed to be away from cyberworld for about four hours yesterday and I consider that an absolute achievement.

Anyway, doesn’t really matter how much or how less I was able to keep away from my “addiction”, isn’t it? The question still is: Was I able to find the time to read my bible? Or listen to a sermon? Or pray?

Fortunately and by God’s infinite grace and mercy, yes to some and no to some. I was able to listen to a sermon by Ben Wikner on changed relationships through adoption while Tommy was asleep and a short prayer earlier during the day before Tommy got up from bed. I tried to begin reading Romans but then, Tommy woke up and there was just no time left to do it in silence anymore. I prayed that tomorrow, which is today, will be a much better day. Was it? We’ll see about how this day would conclude but so far, so good. ;)

I hope to be able to post again tomorrow for today’s update.

Category: Faith

Finding ways and time

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 20, 2010 | No Comments

How in the world do Godly wives and mothers find the time?

This is a very big question mark hanging above my head nowadays. I struggle for time to cultivate a heart that seeks the Lord. I struggle to find ways to be away from the busyness of my life. I struggle to have quiet time and just bask in the light of God’s Word.

From the moment I open my eyes, I’m already scrambling to get things done. My mornings are so hectic that I run around the house trying to do things all at the same time if not trying to get everything done before the clock strikes 9AM. Make up the bed. Feed Tommy his breakfast. Have a leisurely breakfast with Warren. Get the upstairs cleaned up and ready for internet cafe customers. How I get everything done while making sure Tommy doesn’t get himself into any kind of trouble is a feat.
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Category: Faith

“Menmen!”

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 20, 2010 | No Comments


Before meals, we usually pray to thank God for His grace. Typically, Warren would hold Tommy’s left hand while I hold the right. Admittedly, we only started this holding hands tradition when Tommy arrived and started joining us on the table during mealtimes ( on his 17th month). One time, we forgot to hold hands and he acted shocked after we all said “Amen”. In disagreement to the grace ending without the traditional holding of the hands, he took his Dad’s hands and mine and bowed his head. Warren and I tried our darnest not to laugh out loud! We had to repeat our prayer all over again and at the end Tommy happily concluded rather loudly, “Menmen!” Oh so cute!

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Category: Journey to Tommy

Tommy turns 19 months

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 20, 2010 | No Comments

Tommy turned 19 months old yesterday. We didn’t celebrate because Warren had to run some errands and I had to man the shop while he’s away, but our little man is quite happy with the green ball that we got him from the local toy store.

He is now a perpetual motion machine, he likes to run around and lately, his idea of absolute fun is running away from me when he is being fed his vitamins, of course the most fun part about that is the sight of Mommy running after him, right? Heh.

I am also no longer Mom or Mama but Hun! Yep, it stuck and I hear it all the time from him whenever he’s calling me. When I am in the bath, he’d knock and I’d hear his small voice calling out, “Hun! Hun! Hun!” or whenever I’m busy with something and he’s vying for my attention he’d repeatedly call out “Hun! Hun!” It’s funny and crazy but I sure do hope he’ll outgrow that. I want to be Mom to him, not Hun. :)

He’s more clingy than last month and he has bedtime fears like he covers his eyes and burrows his face between my neck and chest after looking out the window or he screams when we put out the light. I read somewhere, too, that it’s just a phase and that he’s likely to grow out of it. I hope so too.

Anyway, so that’s our little man as we enter his 19th month. :) We look forward to far more exciting times ahead!

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Category: Adoption, Journey to Tommy

To sit at Jesus’ feet

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 19, 2010 | No Comments

I have three personal bibles all strategically placed around the house, one is on top of my dresser drawer where I could easily pick it up after doing my before bedtime rituals and take it with me on the bed. The other one is in my bag so that when I am out I can just pop it out to read while waiting or commuting (tip received from an author and Godly woman). The third one is quite mobile, sometimes it is on my desk, other times it is on Warren’s. He likes it because it is a thin line version so it’s pretty easy to carry wherever, so I share it with him.

Three bibles all for me to read, wow, you’d think I read on a regular basis but sadly I don’t. I can offer you many reasons, I’m a mom to a toddler, I manage our household full time, I pitch in with the workload at the shop sometimes and so on. These things eat up most of my time, they take up so much space in my daily life that I struggle to find quality time reading my bible much less communing with God.

But then, I also spend time on Facebook and keeping up with other blogs which take up what time I have left for the day to myself– or at least supposedly for myself to sit at Jesus’ feet.

I am writing this here for all the world to see because I want to be accountable. May the Lord be gracious to me as I struggle for spiritual discipline.

Category: Faith

Claim it, demand it, insist on it and luv, luv, luv!

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 14, 2010 | 1 Comment

As you can tell from the title of this post, this has everything to do with those who like to use the words “claim”, “insist”, “rebuke”, and a menagerie of other verbs that make Jesus Christ not just a seasonal Santa Claus or a genie in a bottle but even a gumball machine that needs to be kicked hard to spew forth whatever it is that is being insisted/claimed.

I’ve seen it one too many times before in friends’ Facebook and Friendster shout outs, I’ve read it more than a dozen times in other people’s blogs and I’ve heard it said on many occasions from church members, and it’s sickening to a point.
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Category: Faith

And because the holidays are over…

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 13, 2010 | No Comments

… we are now preparing to formalize Tommy’s adoption, yay!

If you’re with me on Facebook, you probably read my announcement about our family lawyer doing this semi pro-bono as long as we start moving on as soon as January 2010. Boy, ain’t God sooo grand? He provided us with a lawyer who is willing to travel all the way from up north (about 5 hours by bus, hmm maybe 3 hours by private vehicle as long as he’s running a good 100kph) and walk us through the proceedings (semi) PRO-BONO? Life is beautiful!

When I say semi pro-bono, I mean the lawyer is willing to represent us in court ALMOST free, so yep, not entirely free but hey, that’s more than what we would have asked for! He’s a really good friend of mine from way back and I’m so happy that he’s the one doing this for us.

Okay, I know you all must be thinking what are the proceedings for and what do we still need a lawyer for when we already have Tommy home? FYI, we are still on the 6-month trial custody period, should we decide to terminate the adoption within this period, we can do so, if not we can go ahead and ask the DSWD to file a recommendation for adoption so we can move forward. Yes, technically speaking, Tommy isn’t really Thomas Gershom yet. He is still Christian James (the name given to him when he was born). And he isn’t a Chua yet, he is still a Hermosilla (his mother’s last name). Well, soon, my son, soon! :)

We are excited to move forward on this and put a finality on everything related to Tommy’s adoption – paperwork-wise, that is. The DSWD needs to do a home visit one last time before they can draw up the recommendation. Our SW scheduled that for the last week of January and I really, really, really hope and pray that she won’t cancel so we can just go right ahead and do what needs to be done. And, as usual, we covet your prayers!

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Category: Adoption, Journey to Tommy

“Uhwow”

Written by Zhey | Posted on January 10, 2010 | 1 Comment

Why would something as simple, and probably even trivial to others, as this bring so much joy and laughter to two grown ups escape me… :)

Btw, “Uhwow” is Tommyspeak for “Hello”. :) I’m predicting it won’t be long now before I’d have a collection of Tommyspeaks adorning my posts.

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Category: Adoption, Journey to Tommy
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